Bella's Journey
by Jasmine19teamEmmett
Summary: Its been 2 years since Edward left in new moon Bella is a drug addict and prostitute completely alone in the world.she decides she going to Alaska so the Denali family can help her find the Cullen's. I suck at summary's first fanfic. I don't own twilight
1. Waking up

It has been 2 years since Edward left. It still hurt like the first day. my heart literally hurt when I think of him. I've heard people talk about heart ache but you can never really understand till it happens it's…unexplainable. When I think of him my emotions are mixed one part of me knows that if he came back I would gravel and beg for him to take me back and make my life happy again another part of me hates him with the heat of a thousand suns and if he every came back I would want to hurt him though I would only hurt myself in the process

Well I shouldn't be thinking of him I should be trying to figure out why im on

a hard floor and can't remember how I got here

. I haven't opened my eyes yet so I'm thinking that might help me figure it out. I open my eyes and look around then I suddenly remember I'm in a Seattle crack house my current home with my best friend Jennie.

Oh did I forget to mention I'm a drug addict, have been for about a year and a half. Half a year was all the time I could stand the pain of not having him by my side.

God I would burn for an eternity in hell just for one more kiss one more minute in his arms I crave him more than I crave the drugs and what kills me is I can't, for the life of me remember his smell the feeling of his presence knowing he was there without touching him or feeling him but just knowing he was with me

But I can't think about that right now I'm starting to feel that familiar pain, the pain of withdrawal.

So I get up start walking over the other drug heads to high to notice me and head toward my room that I share with Jennie.

I met Jennie a year and a half ago at mike Newton's party celebrating his parents being out of town. I didn't want to go but mike beg me saying I needed to have fun and forget about the past careful not to mention him of course so there I was at his house sitting a the top of the stairs hiding from his and Tyler's advances and away from the party just wallowing in self hate and pain when the new girl Jennie came up and sat next to me.

"Why so sad" she asked playfully.

"I'm not; just tired "I said weakly we both knew I was lying.

"Ok, well I'm Jennie" she said awkwardly

"Bella" I said shyly when suddenly I noticed she was lighting a blunt I was gaping when she looked over at me and giggled.

"Want some" she said pushing it towards me "no I don't"

"it cool its not laced or anything I brought it with me from California" I thought about it for a moment thinking

Why not what's the worst that could happen. While I was smoking I thought about what he would think if he'd known I was doing this. Edward was always so overprotective of me and didn't want me to do any thing that could jeopardize my short years he wanted me to live as long as possible he would never come right out and say it because talking about me getting old and dying was to much for him to handle if he knew I was intentionally hurting my body I imagine he'd be pissed because when he left me he made me promise I wouldn't do any thing reckless but he's not here and why should I listen to him anyway he promised he would always love me but where is he now if he can break a promise so can I had always been submissive to his wishes and let him guilt me into his overprotective wishes because I didn't want him to leave me but look where being the good girl has gotten me alone and heart broken so… I did it not thinking of the consciences but thinking I was getting a kind of power high from defying him it was stupid and pathetic in it self but it was fun and exciting.

Plus we had a blast talking and laughing I was always careful not to tell Jennie about him or my past and she was careful not to bring it up

I loved the numb feeling from the smoke that help dull the pain of course it never made me forget my heart ache

but it kind of fogged over the pain of his memories. After that party me and Jennie where inseparable best friends so close it was like we where sisters we hung out all the time. At her house because her mom was always away for work and her dad wasn't in the picture. Getting high everyday all day everyday at school at home through I often stayed in my room when me and Jennie where at my house to Charlie wouldn't notice and of course he was so happy I was acting like a normal teenager that he didn't push for info

But after a while the pot wasn't enough and the pain of losing Edward got worse I needed something to make me forget him completely not just fog him over so me and Jennie got into alcohol it helped me forget him and most of the night truth be told of course.

Jennie never knew why I was so desperate to forget I knew her pain, she hated always being alone her mom made them move around a lot and she hated her for it after a while the alcohol wasn't enough and we started moving on to hardcore drugs it was fine at first we had enough money but then we needed more to get high etc…etc. and now here I was heading to my room to find my drugs and best friend Jennie I walked into my room and noticed her unconscious with the rubber string still tied around her arm her head turned away from me.

"Hey bitch I cant believe you let me sleep on the floor while you sleep in the bed" I said jokingly. She didn't answer me.

"Jennie hey chick come on wake up" I said wobbling towards her beginning to shake her she was cold really cold I turned her over and looked into her hooded eyes they where gray glazed over I screamed it was all I could think to do.

"Jennie no god please no" I said laying my head on her stomach screaming and crying when suddenly Dave our drug dealer and owner of the house rushed in

"What's the problem baby" he looked over at Jennie and sighed

"shit" he took his cell phone out of his pocket and began calling someone I just watched him in a dazes he was so calm " hey man I got another one I need you to take care of yeah, yeah cool see you" he closed his phone and looked over at me "baby we have to get rid of the body sorry but I cant have police ruining my business" I just look at him too shocked to form words even think and turned back to jennies body and began crying over her body when I felt Dave come behind me and stick a needle in my arm everything dazed over and I was happy completely unaware of anything I woke I didn't know how long I was out but jennies body was gone and I was in the bed where she had been. I wasn't mad at Dave I knew the rules no cops and it wasn't his fault it was mine it was all my fault we should have quit but I needed the drugs it hurt the pain of withdrawal is agonizing I tried to quit we both had and it never took and I've seen dead body's before

when you live this kind of life you get used to death but seeing my best friends body was sickening I had to get out of here I had to be away from here I got up quickly and grabbed my clothes and drugs and my 500 dollars I had from turning tricks went to me and jennies

. I just drove nowhere really I just felt that if I slowed down Id be forced to think and I couldn't face my thoughts right now I needed time to get over the shock

But unfortunately I'm human and eventually needed

to rest I pulled over and sat in the car thinking about Jennie and the Cullen's crying my eyes out thinking about how much I needed him them I needed someone to talk to really talk about the way I was feeling without having to hold back any secrets.

. I thought about the stories Emmett loved to tell me about fun stuff he did with his family and his cousins in Alaska making me smile when it dawned on me I have to go find them I cant sit here. I have to do something I don't care if they want to see me or not I need them I'm so alone but I knew most likely they'd turn me away but if I didn't try then I would regret it for the rest of my life of course I didn't know where they were but I knew where there cousins lived Emmett told me so here I was a 19 year old drug addict heading to Alaska to try and find a vampire family I never met. I'm heading toward the Denali family.


	2. Alaska

_**I don't own twilight **_

_

* * *

_

So here I was a 19 year old homeless drug addict with enough drugs to last me a month and 500 dollars cash from turning tricks. It shocks me to look in the mirror. 3 years ago if someone told me I was going to be a coke head whore I would have punched them in the face but now I was sure people could tell just by looking at me. The first time I took money for sexual favors id been so high I barely remember it I was disgusted with myself I couldn't look in the mirror but I really needed the money so I continued.

hating my self more and more losing all self respect. What made me afraid was I was starting to get used to it acting like I cared about the guy, loved him to get him off then watching him put money on the night stand and walk out of the room I think about if I should tell the Cullen's but what will they think about me should I be truthful if I lie then jasper would probably sense it and I'm a bad liar anyway I should be more worried about if they'll want to see me or not so here I go driving toward Alaska to try and find the Denali family

so they can help me find the Cullen's I'm scared shitless but I have to do this I just have to if I don't ill always wonder what would have happened. I stop at a gas station and get food and gas then continue driving stopping at cheap hotels luckily most cheap motel guys are the same and happy to give me a room for sexual favors if I had a choice I would have paid but I only have enough money for food and gas. And why not do it I'm already a whore. I wake up the next day the clerk guy is still sound a sleep I quickly and quietly get my stuff and his wallet and get out of there.

I repeat this for weeks while I drive to Alaska luckily it seems that all motel clerks are the same, until finally I'm in the small town of Juneau Alaska. I pull over the car and ask a local where the Denali family lives she gapes at me but points me in the right direction it doesn't surprise me if the denials are anything like the Cullen then people will be cautious of them by nature.

while I drive down the long dirt road surrounded by forest I think about what Emmett told me about the Denali's, that they don't go to school because they appeared to be in there 20s and that they only went out to buy grocery's to keep up appearances and there names where Eleazar his mate Carmen, Tanya their leader her sisters Irina, Kate and Kate's mate Garrett. Emmett didn't tell me much more I didn't know much about them or how they'd feel about a human knowing there secret.

In the vampire world if a human knows about vampires then they have to die or be turned. I'm so nervous for my life as well as what they'll think of me I'm starting to hurt again so I pull over to snort some coke to relax me and stop the pain of withdrawal but not to much I want to be able to talk to the Denali family.

Then I continue to drive when I spot a beautiful huge log house with a frozen pond and a beautiful tree with a tire swing I pull up and park the car I look over and see 4 expensive looking cars.

I just sit in the car for a couple of minutes freaking out. 'Damn it Bella you didn't drive all this way to sit in the car.' I mentally scream at myself. I get out of the car grab my coat and purse and started walking up the log stairs went up to the door and knocked. My heart was beating a mile a minute I was scared to death here I was standing outside of the door of a vampire family I never met I couldn't breath I was still high but' I should of taken more I should have…' suddenly the door handle turned and it opened to reveal.

**This is my first fan fiction I don't know if ill continue the story so please please please leave reviews so I know you want me to continue. **


	3. we have visiters

**I don't own twilight**

My heart was beating a mile a minute I was scared to death here I was standing outside of the door of a vampire family I never met I couldn't breath I was still high but I should of taken more I should have… suddenly the door handle turned and it opened to reveal a tall drop dead gorgeous female vampire with long blond hair I gasped there was nothing else I could do she was so beautiful it hurt to look at her and it has been so long since id been in the presence of something that could kill me with a turn of its fingers my natural instincts were telling me to run I just stood there gaping at her frozen in shock and fear.

"Hello can I help you "she said politely

"I umm I need to talk to you about umm" I stated stuttering badly I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

"About what" she said she look around quickly then looked back at me noticing I was shaking she must of thought it was from the cold, little did she know it was from the coke I just took "come in won't you "she said moving to the side to let me in

"Sure thank you" I said nervously I went in the house it was an amazing tall ceilings, a huge fireplace that was taller than me and as wide as 3 doors. I saw a male vampire sitting on the couch laid back I assumed trying to act human. He smiled at me sweetly as if trying to relax me careful not to show his teeth.

"So what can we help you with, are you lost" she said gesturing for me to sit down I went toward the couch on the opposite side of the male and look up at her.

"No, I'm looking for you I need your help" I blurted out without thinking

"Oh may I ask with what exactly" she said looking curious and _suspicious_

I couldn't answer so I toke a second to look around it was freezing in here which I understood vampires don't get cold I looked at the fireplace and noticed it was clean never uses without thinking I said

"You know you should really use the fire place I know you don't get cold but if a human came here they would think its weird that you don't use it because its really cold and you seem fine which isn't normal, just saying for future reference, though I'm sure you don't have many humans here." I said quickly instantly regretting it. She looked at me completely shocked "What do you mean human where all human"

"Then why are you not cold your clothes are very thin" I said quietly "I know" I said looking her in the eyes

"Know what "she said acting confused "that you're a vampire" she looked completely shocked suddenly 4 other vampires where coming down the stairs at human speed "Hey Irina what's going on who's this I didn't know we had a guest "she said acting surprised and very chipper

"Oh this is um well you never told me your name" she said looking from who I assume was Tanya coming down the stairs with the other ones

"Oh I'm sorry Bella, Bella Swan I'm sorry to barge in like this but I need your help getting a hold of someone" I said nervously not able to meet their eyes

"Who'' said a black haired female who I guessed was Carmen

"Um Carlisle would be the most _convenient if it's not to much trouble"_

They all gaped at me clearly shocked that I knew him and that I came to them for information

"How do you know him" said Eleazer forcefully I flinched

"Where old friends I guess"

"you guess you don't know" the woman who answered the door said coldly

I was in desperate need for another hit but I couldn't ask them to use their bathroom I was too scared

"Look can I please just have his number it important" I said tears filling my eyes I quickly wiped them away before they could fall they all look to who I assumed was

Tanya their leader "alright fine if it's that important "she said handing me a cell phone that she had already dialed never taking her eyes off of me I was too nervous to look at the other vampires the phone was ringing my heart was racing I put it to my ear someone picked up "Hi Tanya, sorry Carlisle's out hunting I have his cell" It was Esme I couldn't help it I started crying quietly but of course she could hear me "Esme" I said crying with happiness

"Oh my god Bella" she said starting to cry to._ Recognizing_ my voice the vampires in the room looking completely shocked I quickly looked at the floor again

"Bella honey, Bella are you ok" she said still crying

"yes Esme I'm fine please don't cry your going to make me cry "Even_ though_ I was already crying I said it jokingly "what are you doing with the Denali coven is everything alright whats happened are you alright" she asked again "yes I'm fine" my voice broke I wasn't fine we both knew it "Bella

I'm getting in the car I'm on my way ok Emmett's coming with me where coming" she said obviously going into protecting mom mode

"Oh Esme you don't have to come"" I don't know why I said that this was the whole reason I came here because I need to see her.

"No I'm coming and that's that's!" "_Oh Emmett no, shh I'm talking to her_" she sighed loudly

"Bella Emmett wants to say hi is that alright"

I was still crying "of course" I said laughing through my tears I heard his voice. As usual loud but not with the usual cheerfulness to it" Bella I've missed you so much who do I have to kill, who made you cry I'll rip them in two" he said with a loud growl.

"No one Emmett I'm fine"

"Don't say your fine Bella your not, your crying"

"I'm just happy to talk to you it's happy crying" I lied I knew they knew I was lying "Bella, God…I've missed you, I cant wait to see you, what are you up to?"

"Oh nothing special just going to a house full vampires I don't know and all that " I said laughing through the tears "it doesn't surprise me you're the bravest human I know"

"thanks" I said jokingly

"I'm serious, Oh Esme wants to talk to Tanya ok"

"ok" I handed the phone to the red blond vampire her hand reached out she took it still never taking her eyes off me I quickly looked back down "hello" she said and then started talking at vampire speeds I couldn't catch a world I looked at the other vampires who where all still looking at me

"Um can I use your bathroom" I couldn't take the pain anymore I needed a hit the tall blond who answered the door said "sure top of the stairs talk a right 4 doors down"

"Thanks "I said getting up quickly too quickly as I started to fall the blacked haired male vampire caught me and studied me his ice cold rock hard skin bringing back memories I didn't want to remember . I mumble a quick thanks and went up the stairs once I got there

I took 2 hits I assumed because there vampires they wouldn't know anything about drugs so they wouldn't know why I was sniffing so loud after I was done I started going down the stairs when I was half way down they all looked up at me I looked down my whole face red

"So Bella Esme explained that you are probably hungry and tired there's food in the fridge and we have extra rooms Esme and Emmett will be here in 3 days do you understand" she said as if talking to a child I didn't blame her I understood that they probably never talked to or were around humans.

"Oh thanks I'm not hungry "I said looking at the stairs I was standing on

"alright are you tired" she said I was still looking at the floor.

I nodded

"Ill show you to your room oh and I'm Tanya this is Irina Carmen, Kate Garret and Eleazar it's nice to meet you. It's strange having a human know what we really are how long have you known" she said surprisingly calm she didn't seem mad

"oh um couple years I used to live in forks with the Cullen's I was a friend of the family" I said quietly no need to tell them one of the Cullen's broke my heart

"oh well here come with me" she said suddenly appearing next to me. Looking closely at me I knew she wanted to see if I would be afraid of her vampire speed

I looked at her calmly she smirked

"well I'm impressed you must have spend a lot of time around our kind''

"You have no idea" I said shyly she just grinned at me and led me up the stairs into the room

"thanks" she just nodded and left the room shutting the door. 'Well this went a lot better than I though it would' I laid on the bed covered up I heard the heater go on

"thanks " I said in a whisper I fell asleep hugging my bag thinking of him and drifted to sleep I should have known better than to fall asleep on coke I started too have another nightmare.

It was just how they always where terrifying Edward was telling me he didn't want me anymore then jennies dead corpse was talking to me saying it was all my fault.

When I woke up I looked to the window the sun was coming up it was still dark outside. I got up and after taking another hit I went out into the hallway then down the stairs the Denali's where still in the living room as if they never moved they looked up at me but said nothing I guessed they were waiting for me to speak

"um hi" I said shyly I was at a lose for words

"Bella are you hungry Esme reminded us that you need to eat everyday and as you know they'll be here in 3 days" Carman said sweetly I liked her already

"Yes and I am hungry thank you"

I said surprised she would care about my needs

"no problem come on" she said walking towards me slowly I knew she didn't want to scare me

"ok" I said calmly showing her I wasn't afraid we walk into the kitchen and she sat at the kitchen counter watching me intently

" do you need any help" she said

"no I'm fine thank you though" she nodded and I took that as a cue to start going through there kitchen I started taking ingredients out of the fridge to make eggs I didn't feel like doing much else plus eggs didn't take a lot of thought. Good because I was feeling high as a kite but I was good at acting normal unfortunately I tend to blab when I'm high without thinking I turned around a noticed that all 6 vampires where in the kitchen watching me intensely it didn't really surprise me vampires are very curious by nature I just turned back around and continued cooking

"so Bella" I turned back around and Irena was looking me

**(in my story Irene doesn't know Bella got Laurent killed)**

"yes"

"is it strange for you being around vampires you don't seem scared of us at all''

" um well no not exactly I mean you guys aren't trying to kill me so no I'm not afraid of you"

" has a vampire ever tried to kill you" Eleazer asked his face expression reminded me of Dr. Cullen when he wanted to learn something new

" um…a fair few" I said shyly no one said anything they just looked at me strangely so I finished cooking quietly and ate standing up my face red from being studied so intensely I finished eating and stood there looking at the floor I didn't know what to do with my self after about a minute Carman asked

"do you need anything else"

"no I'm fine umm do you mind if I get cleaned up" I asked shyly I didn't want to stand here being stared at I was afraid that if they studied me to closely they would be able to see my darkest secrets

"sure of course" Carman said once again its surprised me how like Esme she was loving and kind motherly. I went up into my room and showered slowly letting the warm water calm me I got out and dressed quickly I went back downstairs and once again they where all in the living room

"Bella we have some news umm well some of are friend are coming for a visit they do every 10 years at this time you don't have to be afraid they wont hurt you because your are friend" for one I was shocked they considered me there friend I've only knew them less than a day and what did they mean there friends wouldn't hurt me then it dawned on me " there not vegetarian" I squeaked " no there not and they'll be here in a couple hours…

_**Please Please Please review I open to suggestions **_


	4. life of the party

**I don't own twilight**

After the Denali's told me they were having visitors I didn't know what to say I didn't know how to react so I told them I was tired and went up to my room something I did often when René told me guests where coming .I didn't really enjoy moms parties as I was they only child there my moms friends where like her free spirited.

so here I was a 19 year old drug addict hiding up stairs afraid to meet the Denali's friends. but they had said that they wouldn't hurt me and I was terribly curious id been in my room for about 4 hours id taken a long shower and paced I I didn't hear anything down stairs but that didn't surprise me vampires didn't make noise. And I should be such a coward so I decided that I should at least go see what was going on. I got up took a quick hit and went out of my room went down the hallway then went down the stairs…

Id never seen so many vampires in my life I mean iv seen a lot of werewolf's in one place but naturally werewolf's can stand to be around one another but from what I knew of non vegetarian vampires is that they traveled in small covens or alone because they were more animalistic but there we at least 16 vampires all with red eyes looking right at me I froze my heart starting beating I gave a small smile and looked at the floor by now I could have drawn the pattern of there floor my memory I just stood there frozen couldn't think of what to do, do I introduce myself.

"Well isn't this one cute I think I should change her. Immortality would suit her well" I looked up and a handsome male blond vampire was walking toward me slowly smiling and growling. for some reason I wasn't afraid of him something about the growl reminded me of Edward it wasn't a dangerous growl it was a playful growl and I looked at the vampire head on not a lick of fear in my eyes completely calm must be cause Im high. He was grinning completely amused me not being afraid of him was entertaining Irina appeared next to me

"Back off Randall she belongs to the Cullen's "she said as if I was a pet I didn't care as long as he knew he couldn't hurt me

"of course I wasn't going to hurt her I was just playing I would never insult the Cullen that way" he said smiling sweetly irina nodded and flashed back to where she came from leaving me alone with him and all the other vampires in the room it was very crowded I looked around and all the vampires were watching me intently as if I was a TV something entertaining. there faces blank I didn't know what to do with myself they were all looking at me but they didn't try to talk to me I turned and went to sit on the couch my hair was still wet from my shower so I started running m fingers through it looking at my feet after playing with my hair for about 10 minutes I looked up they were still looking at me never moving the vampire Randall was still smiling at me.

I looked at him for a moment he was tall handsome well built he looked to be the strongest in the room but still no were near Emmett though that didn't surprise me Emmett was the strongest vampire in the world something he was all to happy to brag about Randall started walking toward the couch were I was sitting never taking his eyes off of me he sat down

"So Bella is it"

"Yes it is" he grinned at my confidence he knew I was not afraid of him

" how did you meet the Cullen's" I quickly looked down

"Um at school I was a friend of the family "

" oh interesting" he said studying me closely

" your beautiful"

"thank you "I said blandly bored not caring Iv had lots of men flirt with me not a lot of vampires ill admit but humans and werewolf's I used to hang with werewolf all the time till I met Jennie then all I wanted to do was hang with her and of course drugs.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes and he really big so leave me alone "I said sarcastically he chuckled as did most of the vampires in the room the ones that didn't grinned widely

"You're funny for a human"

"I wasn't aware that vampires had a sense of humor" I said coldly he laughed again

"Most of us don't really what's your boyfriends name Bella

"Jack sparrow" I said quickly

" oh and is jack human" he said seriously I had to laugh he thought I was serious I started and couldn't stop I was laughing so hard I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop after a minute I stopped and looked at him he was just grinning

"what's so funny"

"I was joking jack sparrow is a character in a movie not real" he looked at me confused but still smiling

"Oh so your single "

"Yes" I said quietly

" kind of" what did I mean kind of. of course I was single my vampire boyfriend didn't love me any more and broke up with me thinking of him my eyes started to fill with tears I looked down witch cause the tears to spill over suddenly Randall lifted my chin and wiped away my tears

"don't cry your to beautiful to cry" I chuckled slightly suddenly he leaned forward as if to kiss me I froze would he try to kiss me I just met him but he was still coming forward without thinking I slapped him my hand started to sting I rubbed it with the other he quickly leaned back looking shocked I looked at him

"Never without my _permission. "I said seriously _

_"Wow she didn't fall for it Im impressed" I looked over and a tall male vampire was smiling at me_

_ "Fall for what" I said angry_

_ "For Randall he likes to lure in human females and sleep with them he's never been denied luckily for you where all here or I imagine he would have taken you my force._

_I can't say I'm shocked for vampires luring in human with there looks and charm came naturally and to be denied must be a real turn on. _

_"Oh by the way I'm peter a close friend of jasper"_

_"I'm Bella and I'm pretty immune too vampire dazzling" well what I met was I was immune to all vampires but Edward he could always dazzle .me I looked over at Randall he was gone _

_"Where'd he go" I ask not really caring_

_"He's mad went out to hunt" I shivered thinking about who he was going to kill _

_"Are you cold" said a female voice I looked over it was Carmen _

_"No just thinking about who's about to die" I said truthfully as I said I have a tendency for talking without thinking _

_"oh yeah that bugs me to but to each there own" she said smiling wryly _

_" how long have you been a vegetarian" I asked curious she never seem to have a problem with the smell of my blood none of theme did of course all the red eyed vampire were well feed from what I could tell _

_"Oh awhile couple hundred years are you hungry" _

_"No I'm fine thank you" _

_"Well if you need anything just ask"_

_"thank you" she nodded and disappeared once again I was left alone in the room they were all still staring at me so I decided id be the first one to speak I looked for who I was going to talk to when I say a girl she appeared to be my age she was of course beautiful she had tanned olive skin and was standing next to a vampire who appeared to be a teenage boy maybe a year or 2 younger than me I looked back up at her_

_ "hello " she smiled but said nothing I looked around careful to avoid anyone's eyes when she spoke up" its impressive that your not afraid of vampires Im Tia by the way" _

_"Thanks Im Bella" I said slowly_

_"I heard so how long have you known about our kind" she asked slightly smiling_

_" um well a couple years" I said I was worried about asking her questions but I was glad she was being nice it made me feel a little more comfortable_

_ "so how did you meet the Cullen's exactly " _

_" well I … was friends with Alice in school" I said my voice stuttering badly the drugs were starting to were off and the fact that so many eyes were on me was making me nervous _

_"Bella my gift is to tell when someone's lying and I can't get a read on you though I can tell your lying that's strange"_

_"oh well vampire powers don't work on me well I mean the mental ones don't me and the Cullen's couldn't figure out why" I said quickly babbling I was starting to feel very sick dizzy I hadn't took enough I needed to go to the bathroom I looked up and Tia was talking to the boy she was standing by before they were whispering to quiet for a human to hope to hear I was thinking vampires are very rude I didn't care enough to call them on it _

_"Excuse me I have to go to my room I'm very tired" I said quietly luckily since there vampire they don't know how much sleep a human needs because I really need to be alone no one says anything not that I care Im already half way up the stairs when_

_ I get to my room after taking a couple of hits I lay down and think ,think of every thing that has happened in such a short time everything been moving to quickly for me to think ._

_I think about Jennie she was my best friend in the world closer than Alice Jennie never betrayed me never hurt me like the Cullen's and I knew without a doubt she never would I though about how I should have told Jennie the truth about my life about the man how broke my heart the family that abandoned me without a backwards glance about how before I met her I opened my heart once more to Jacob who later betrayed me I shouldn't think like that it isn't his fault he imprinted but when he did he never wanted to spend time with me he was always around her. now more than ever I needed Jennie I wonder what she would say if her spirit could speak to me would she me angry would she if she had a choice desert me like the Cullen's even after Esme and Emmett said they never wanted to leave me how can I trust them they said they would always protect me but where were they when I needed them most no matter what anyone said I would never do to them what they did to me and I would never fully trust them .I drifted my mind was exhausted and of course another nightmare started _

_I was standing on my old street in phoenix it was dark quiet deserted I was completely alone. _

_**Ok I officially have writers block and I need suggestions to get the story going again **_


	5. short

**I don't own twilight**

I was standing on the deserted street completely alone there was no one for me and I knew I would always be alone that's all I remember when I woke up screaming I didn't know why I was screaming but the dream scared me the thought of being alone for ever was my worst nightmare I was still screaming when I felt. Someone's arms come around me and I tried to fight them off when suddenly I heard Carlisle voice "shh…shh, Bella its ok you had a nightmare shh I'm here" he said laying me down petting my hair smiling lightly at me trying to relax me.

"Carlisle what are you doing here I thought only Emmett and Esme where coming?" He looked hurt I said that

"they called me and I was closer so I got here first they'll be here tomorrow " he said calmly I couldn't help It I started crying he wrapped his arms around me I don't know how long we sat there but my stomach started growling my face became very red he smiled at me

"Lets get you something to eat " he helped me get up I must have been sleeping for a long time because I clenched my stomach and bent over in pain it has been to long since I had a hit.

"Bella are you alright" Carlisle said worry in his voice

"Yeah I'm fine "I said still clenching my stomach

" I just need to go the bathroom" I stepped away from him and grabbed my bag trying to act like I wasn't in pain he held most of my weight while I limped towards the bathroom I went in and

Shut the door

"Bella are you sure you're ok" he said through the door

"yes I'm fine don't worry ill only be a minute" I said as I turned on the facet trying to hide the sound of my snorting I knew it was stupid he'd be able to hear me a mile away. when I was finished I got up and flush the toilet it was stupid to act like I was going to the bathroom but it was habit. I went to the door and opened it

"Feel better Bella" he said sadly with no sarcasm

"Yeah I'm fine" I couldn't meet his eyes he came up and hugs me tightly

"Bella, I'm going to be with you through this ill get you better I swear I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you that we all weren't there for you"

I put my head to his chest and of course started to cry but I quickly stopped as I was starving

"I'm hungry Carlisle

"ok sweetie come on" he said walking me down the stars his arm around my shoulder I avoided looking into the living room I didn't want to see the way the vampires would be looking at me I was so embarrassed he walked me to the kitchen and helped me into the chairs at the counter then went to the fridge "what would you like" he said looking through the fridge I looked at the counters and noticed fruit "I'll just have an orange"

"Bella you need more that an orange you seem to have lost a lot of weight" he said sadly

"It all I can handle right now" I said ashamed I had lost a lot of weight I barely looked like myself I also looked very ill which truth be told I was addiction is a disease.

"Ok" he said giving me a small sad smile while handing me and orange

"Thank you" I said with more emotion then was necessary

"No problem of course" we where quiet for a minute just looking at each other then he said sadly

" Bella I'm so sorry we should never left the way we did it my fault I cant even begin to explain how sorry I am I shouldn't have listened to Edward we should have there to protect you I'm so very sorry no amount of apology can make up for…" I stopped him

" Carlisle no this was my fault I'm not you responsibility I'm my own person" I sad crying again

"Bella you're my daughter I love you Im going to make you better if it's the last thing I do" I laughed I couldn't help it

"I doubt it will be the last thing you do your immortal "he chuckled shaking me in his arms. So tell me what's happened since we've been away.

**Ok I suck I haven't updated in a long time and its really short but in my defence I have serious writers block and I have this other story in my head were bellas a siren you know like she sings a you fall in love with her and that all I can think about im going to start another story so I don't know when ill update this one next also I think the cullens suck sometimes cause when they came back in new moon they never apologized and alice got mad at bella for being sad didn't apologize at all what a rude b*tch but still I love them but there rude to bella a lot sometimes **


	6. sorry

So sorry I have no ideas for this story so I'm putting it up for adoption so so sorry


	7. an 1

This story has been **Adoption** by ggroks1800


End file.
